Bryan Koh - ShareAPost, Share Your Thoughts Here!

CASE 1
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

CASE 2
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham
and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher: Excuse me?
Caller: I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen
table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had
taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher: Was anything else taken?
Caller: No, but this has happened to me before and I’m sick and tired
of it!

CASE 3
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Caller: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have
an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same
thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

CASE 4
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two
minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

CASE 5
Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath.
Darn….I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble
breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

Source
From a forwarded email

Jack, a smart businessman, talks to his son

Jack: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : “I will choose my own bride”.
Jack: “But the girl is Bill Gates’s daughter.”
Son : “Well, in that case…”

Next Jack approaches Bill Gates
Jack: “I have a husband for your daughter.”
Bill Gates : “But my daughter is too young to
marry.”
Jack: “But this young man is a vice-president of
the World Bank.”
Bill Gates : “Ah, in that case…”

Finally Jack goes to see the president of the
World Bank.
Jack: “I have a young man to be recommended as a
vice-president.”
President : “But I already have more vice-
presidents than I need.”
Jack: “But this young man is Bill Gates’s son-in-
law.”
President : “Ah, in that case…..”

This is how business is done!!

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss

called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the

last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers later that night. You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore,Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me. Whichever is the case,,,,,,,,,,,, I’m gone.